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Anti-Valentine’s Day gift ideas

Reject the Hallmark holiday with anti-Valentine’s Day ideas ranging from love grenades to break-up chocolate

Whether you’re newly solo, happily single or filled with burning rage of a thousand exes, these anti-Valentine’s Day ideas will convey the proper sentiment. Forget the romantic restaurants, Valentine's Day dinner ideas or chocolate shops—we’ve got all the bitter sweets and tool bags you need.

RECOMMENDED: More Valentine's Day ideas

Anti-Valentine's Day gifts

1/11

Cry us a river.

Ex boyfriend tears flask, $20, exboyfriendtears.com

 

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2/11

Strike a match; snuff out the memory of your ex-flame.

Anti-Love Literary Lites, $6.50, etsy.com

3/11

Bombs away!

Love grenade coin bank by Biaugust, $32, mollaspace.com

 

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4/11

The potent elixir aims to empower “edge walkers, shape shifters, those who dwell between the worlds (and genders), magicians, priestesses, sex workers, and lovers of the great mother.” Sign us up. 

Witches, Bitches and Hos elixir by Dori Midnight, $25, otherwild.com

5/11

If you plan on giving the finger, it might as well be one painted with red and black sparkles and skulls.

Dead Men Tell No Tales polish by Black Cat Lacquer, $9, blackcatlacquer.bigcartel.com.

6/11

Just because you’re not on a date doesn’t mean you can’t ruin someone else’s. Painful sound effects include nails on a chalkboard and the always-inappropriate vuvuzela.

Annoying Sounds machine by Westminster, $9, museumstore.hmns.org

 

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7/11

Nothing says “I may or may not be a serial killer” like a few spare molars tacked on the fridge.

Wisdom tooth magnets by Kikkerland, $6 per set, kikkerland.com

Photograph: Manny Rodriguez
8/11

Hit the (booze-infused chocolate) sauce for a much-deserved endorphin rush.

Break-Up and One Night Stand potions by Dude, Sweet Chocolate, $8–$30 each, dudesweetchocolate.com

9/11

Drown your sorrows—or toast your newfound freedom—with a lychee-flavored libation.

The Filthy Liar gin mixer by White Whale, $10, drinkwhitewhale.com

10/11

Who needs a heart when, well, you know. We much prefer this stylish, gutsy display.

Anatomy of Digestion plates by Street Anatomy, $270, store.streetanatomy.com

11/11

Ain’t nothing gonna break your stride. Nobody’s gonna slow you down. Oh no, you’ve got to keep on movin’.

Wild at Heart cuff by Bing Bang, $50, bingbangnyc.com

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