Valentine’s Day events and things to do for singles

Mortified is a live storytelling extravaganza—a show-and-tell, if you will, of people’s most embarrassing, awkward and often seminal moments. At this Mortified event, celebrate and commiserate February 14th with stories of past V-Days gone wrong. The event is all ages at Wanderlust, but you can still expect beer, wine and inappropriate tales all around.

Who better to love on Valentine’s Day (or any day, really) than yourself? Peruse the Pleasure Chest’s aisles of toys, adult flicks and other titillating treasures and treat yourself to something sexy, then take yourself and your new purchase home to bed. Studies prove that self-lovin’ leads to a longer, healthier life (which means more time for self-lovin’, and on it goes).

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Dart around Santa Monica in your undies—for a good cause, of course—at this annual Valentine’s Day-themed run. The party starts at noon at the Victorian and the “brief” (ba dum...) run kicks off at 2pm. The event raises money for the Children’s Tumor Foundation, so consider that uncovered underside of yours a charitable contribution.

Okay, so it’s a little aggressive, but if you’re feeling any misplaced animosity toward your ex, your newlywed friends or just the consumerist-driven, made-up-holiday insanity going on all around you, shooting off a few rounds—in the safe, regulated environment of the L.A. Gun Club—might be the healthiest way to ease your frustrations.

Slam down those Valentine’s Day blues with Lucha VaVOOM’s “Oooh La La Lucha” show. The masked wrestlers aren’t the only ones showing some skin at this extravaganza of Mexican lucha libre wrestling-meets-striptease showcase. The “Buxoticas” add some serious sexo to the violencia on display. Expect cartoonish costumes, an edgy rock ’n’ roll/rock en español aesthetic, crowd-pleasing hijinks from hula hooping to pole dancing and ladies who bare it all save for pasties and the proverbial fig leaf.

Originated in New York City, the Moth is an open-mic storytelling show that has spread across the country, all the way to Los Angeles, where there’s certainly no dearth of performers. For Valentine’s Day, the show’s theme is “Love Hurts,” in which storytellers will retell a five-minute tale of a time that love made them go “ouch”—kinky stuff included.

What started as an adverse reaction to the celebutante-heavy and TMZ-soaked club scene has flourished into one of the artsiest, most inclusive parties in the city. Rhonda International (the same crew behind A Club Called Rhonda) throws a few particularly massive parties, including this special Valentine’s bicoastal “Lover’s Ball.”

Celebrate the internet’s role in propelling modern dating to hit rock bottom during All The Crazy Dates I’ve Met on the Internet. This all-female storytelling show from Lichelli Lazar-Lea and Caroline Weiss features a mix of actors, comedians and supportive strangers as they get their groan-worthy five-minute stories off their chest.

Listen to intimate solo piano compositions played by the likes of the Hush Sound’s Greta Morgan, Guster’s Ryan Miller, Fruit Bats’ Eric D. Johnson and soulful singer-songwriter Kevin Morby during the appropriately titled “The Piano Recital.” 

Angel City is making a circus out of L.A.’s dating scene with this pre-Valentine’s bash. As an answer to the all of the clowns in the dating pool, the Arts District brewery is gathering stilt walkers and a magician for this afternoon of beer and amusements. Makre sure to throw on a heart-themed sweater for a broken hearts photo booth.

Liberate yourself from the weight of past relationships by burning your baggage—literally. When you walk into Three Day Rule’s Clean Slate: A Pre-Valentine’s Party, you’ll be greeted with a “Burning Cauldron of Love,” a smoky pot into which you can toss a photo of your ex. Afterwards, you’ll spend the night casually mixing and mingling with fellow singles.

Birds on Franklin hosts its annual Anti-Valentine’s party, complete with voodoo dolls, piñata “aggression-release therapy,” all the best heartache music and prizes for the worst “got dumped” stories. Sounds cynical, but since everyone is single and commiserating, you’d be surprised at how many numbers get exchanged by the end of the evening.

Hey, sad sack—instead of moping around all day feeling lonely, think of all the folks in L.A. who are less worried about getting a date and more worried about getting a meal. Volunteer some time and we guarantee you’ll end the day with a lot more love in your heart than if you’d stayed home with the cat and your Netflix queue.