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12 types of cries you’ll definitely have in New York

By
Will Gleason
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Sobbing on sidewalks, tearing up in theaters, breaking down in bars... For the most part, New Yorkers are able to hold it together, but after a while the subway delays, insane apartment prices and overall Lord of the Flies-like dating scene can really catch up with you. Avert your eyes! Emotions are happening here.

1. When your train is randomly running express and you’ve had a really long day.

2. When you realize the Trader Joe’s line starts in the produce section and your arms are so tired from holding everything and you don’t even need that chocolate.

3. When you just barely miss a G train on the weekend and you accept that you’re not going to make that show in Manhattan.

4. When you forget an umbrella and you’re too late to stop and buy one and why do you even live somewhere that makes you walk outside during like, weather events.

5. When you fake being really upset about something to flake on an event.

6. When your roommate asks if you have that money for ConEd even though he knows you’ve been having a really hard month, ok?

7. When you encounter an ex-boyfriend at a bar because he’s too rude to stop going places he knows you go to even though there are basically 20,000 bars in New York and you “go out for a smoke.” And also you just spent over $30 on two drinks and you still have to buy your mom a birthday present.

8. When your company doesn’t do Summer Fridays and you have to spend multiple afternoons looking at your friend’s gorgeous Montauk Instagrams from your desk.

9. When your landlord tells you he’s raising your rent by $1000 and you realize your neighborhood has officially become too gentrified for you.

10. When you wait an hour and a half to get into Asssscat at UCB and they cut the line off right in front of you.

11. When you’ve had an insanely stressful time moving and you find the perfect piece of furniture at the Brooklyn Flea or Housing Works that’s in your budget and it feels like something is finally going right.

12. When you realize that no matter how hard this city can be, things are going to work out just fine because you are a fighter, dammit.

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