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We get it—The most romantic holiday can often feel like the most cringe-worthy day of the year. Not this year, though, because we've found five of the most fun, least stupid, Valentine's Day events for you and your S.O.. Dance, sing, laugh, hell, even do "the nasty," without douche-a-la-douche murking up your space. You can thank us later.
RECOMMENDED: Find more Valentine’s Day ideas in NYC
We weren't kidding about the sex thing—The all-inclusive Wonderland Technicolor Kink Party features a DJ, a ball pit, and a dungeon. Yes, a dungeon. To "do it" in. No, really. It's a party so kinky you've got to RSVP to find out the location.
What better way to express your undying love for your boo than with ballads from by original emo band? At Unlovable: A Smiths and Morrissey Valentine's Day, tribute band the Sons & Heirs croon and wale at the Bell House for the helpless romantic in us all.
Not only is there a classic Sadie Hawkin's dance at the Valentine's Day Planned Parenthood Benefit Concert and Dance, there's also a dating game for all the single cuties and dope, soulful hits from DJ Jonathan Toubin. Plus, your ticket goes to raise money for Planned Parenthood. Charity FTW!
Ain't nothing wrong with some cheesy love songs, and Love Bites: The Power Ballads Sing-Along makes that abundantly clear. We're talking awesomely corny videos from Journey, Bon Jovi, and all the best 80s and 90s power rock you could dream of.
You may already be cuffed this season, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy some good dating app profile roasts at Tinder Live with Lane Moore: Valentine's Day Spectacular with the Cast of Orange is the New Black, featuring Beth Fowler (Sister Jane Ingalls), Connie Shulman (who plays zenned-out Yoga Jones), Laura Gomez (bushy-browed Blanca Flores) and Lin Tucci (Anita Demarco) from Netflix's hit show.