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You may have called the various people you hate roaches behind their backs—but what if you could actually name a living, breathing, crawling, disgusting cockroach after the one you loathe?
This Valentine's Day, the Bronx Zoo has got you covered. Their "Name a Roach" program, which lets you name one of their giant Madagascar hissing roaches for just $10, is back by popular demand. You'll get a digital certificate, which you can then troll with however you see fit, and for $25 you'll get a certificate plus chocolates from Brooklyn's Nunu Chocolate Company. Your donation goes to help the zoo "protect these misunderstood love bugs, along with a lot of other animals, both big and small." I suppose even a cockroach named Dave needs love. Just not in my house.
RECOMMENDED: Find more Valentine's Day ideas in NYC
If you're looking for a more traditional V-day (yawn) check out the best things to do for Valentine's Day and the most romantic restaurants in NYC. Hopefully you won't find any roaches there.