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One of Girls’ most infamous guest stars dropped a bombshell during last night's episode

By Christina Izzo

There were quite a few shockers in the back half of "Painful Evacuation," the fourth episode of the sixth and final season of Girls: Multiple characters die, a high-profile and seemingly one-off guest star is back and, oh yeah, one titular girl learns that they're in the family way. But, before we unpack all of those developments, let's check in with the rest of the gang, eh?

Marnie and Ray are still doing the sex and spewing bad poetry at each other mid-coitus ("I want to die inside the mouth of a lion with you"), but Ray wants more from Marnie—he wants dumplings and beers and regular catch-ups. Alas, Marnie doesn't have time for any of that because she's still dealing with a recovering Desi, whose counselor believes that Marnie's blatant narcissism—"I have bruises all over my body from the two-hour massages that I need to deal with the stress of your addiction"—is detrimental to Desi's rehabilitation. No shit, Sherlock.

Ray isn't faring much better—besides Marnie's rejection of his intimate dumpling date, one of Ray's elderly regulars dies whilst at his coffeeshop, sending Ray into a spiral of self-doubt and introspection over his own mortality. Hermie, Ray's curmudgeonly boss (Colin Quinn), harshly doubles down on the criticism, warning Ray not to waste his full potential and end up like him. But, following Shoshanna's prompt, when Ray seeks out Hermie at his apartment to tell him he's right, a devastated Ray finds him alone and unresponsive on the couch.

Things are slightly more cheerful for Adam and Jessa: Following an argument with his director, Adam walks off the set of his latest acting job, a truly stupendous-looking project that positioned Adam as a hairdresser who may or may not also be a hitman. (Hi, world? I'm going to need this show-within-a-show to become reality STAT. Thanks, bye.)

Jessa, in savior mode, suggests that Adam should make his own movie, namely one centered on the painful love triangle between the couple and Hannah. They're still sorting out the logistics—you know, funds, sandwiches, that sort of thing—but they rush to Hannah's apartment building to ask her blessing, which she flippantly gives, because Hannah has other things to worry about.

Firstly, she's interviewing Ode Montgomery, a fabulously named author played by a braless Tracey Ullman, who offers Hannah such bleak writerly wisdom as "childlessness is the natural state of the female author." Secondly, Hannah has a UTI. (She didn't get this one from sex, FYI—it was simply because she "walked around in wet underwear for a couple of days.")

Following a rather invasive FaceTime with her mom, Hannah goes to the ER, where she's treated by—surprise!—Patrick Wilson's Joshua, the beautiful fortysomething man Hannah spent that dreamy day with back in the brilliant season-two bottle episode, "One Man's Trash." Joshua not only diagnoses Hannah's infection but also reveals that she's—even bigger, Rory Gilmore-esque surprise!—pregnant. Yes, Hannah Helene Horvath is with child, the father is one Montauk surf instructor Paul-Louis and, no, despite Joshua's immediate assumption, she is not planning on having an abortion. We're getting a Girls baby, people—gird your loins. 

Choice soundbites:
Law & Order: UTI. Gong gong!”–Elijah

“I think I may have been a child sociopath. I’ve completely outgrown it. I’m a miracle!”–Jessa

“Jaden Pinkett Smith is starting a greeting card line. You’re going to look cool for even knowing about it."–Elijah


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