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Courtesy CC/Flickr/Steve Snodgrass

There's nothing worse than an annoying apartment buzzer

This is what’s driving us bonkers in NYC right now and making us (almost) want to move

By Rob LeDonne

When it comes to letting a friend know you’re outside their building, there’s only one right way to buzz. Sadly, most New Yorkers get it all wrong.

RECOMMENDED: See more New York rants

Some overeager, maniacal folks mercilessly smash the button for an ungodly length of time, making dogs bark and babies cry and rattling residents to their very core.

Others buzz in a relentless staccato. These twitchy ne’er-do-wells tap-tap-tap the button as if they’re sending an urgent, coded message to their only ally in a dangerous game of international intrigue. In this same population, but perhaps worse, are the would-be composers who use the button to create a little ditty. Ladies and gentlemen, no version of “Shave and a Haircut” is ever appropriate.

But the short, single buzz is the most infuriating of all. Here, overcautious weirdos alight their index finger on the button just once—for a millisecond, tops—as if they were a member of the terrorized family in A Quiet Place. Of course, the USPS has perfected this technique: You may have taken off work to receive a special package, but you’ll never hear your courier’s buzz—really, he just doesn’t want to bother you.

So, what’s the right way to  treat this maddening button? A single, two-second-long buzz, followed by 15 seconds of blissful silence, then—maybe—a follow-up buzz. Anything else and you owe everyone in the building a hot cocoa.

Not all of NYC is annoying!


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