Ah, the first of April. The day that confers the magic power of comedy upon all and sundry. Is there such a thing as an unfunny April Fools joke? Actually. Yes. Most of them. But not all.
Some April Fools jokes are legitimately LOL-worthy. Others are just sadistic and twisted enough that you gotta give them credit. These are those jokes.
With all the closures and noise complaints our city has weathered, it seemed almost true when Messina posted this on their Facebook this morning:
"Due to circumstances beyond our control, and for reasons associated with recent changes in the NSW State Government 'Lock Out Laws’, we regret to inform customers that our Darlinghurst and Surry Hills stores are now unable to trade past 7pm.
The current lock-out laws imposed on Sydney's licensed venues has resulted in a marked increase in foot traffic at both our Darlinghurst and Surry Hills stores, as consumers seek alternative late night entertainment venues outside of clubs/pubs.
An unforeseen consequence of this has been an increase in what police have described as 'frequent antisocial behaviour and overly loud, repetitive music in close proximity to Messina stores’. This increased foot traffic, combined with our existing store queues has made the situation untenable and we have been threatened with fines and potential legal action by council. We have attempted to engage in meaningful discussion with council, licensing police and all relevant stake holders but have failed to find common ground. As such, we are being forced to comply with new trading restrictions until further notice."
Fortunately, the ice cream police aren't ready to descend on Sydney just yet.
"We've rerecorded our entire discography in the style of ABBA – available today only!" the band announced today. Is it wrong that we'd actually buy that record?
Deadpool for babies
This seems fine, they're too young to remember the plot anyway.
With guest support from the Baird Time Band.
Dancing banned after 1am
We could probably create a special category just for lockout-based humour.
A new Ben & Jerry's flavour
Meat pies are good and ice cream is great but better together? Maybe not.