News / City Life

Papi Zak answers KL's problems

Papi Zak
Photo: Alan Bernard

Each month, a different personality addresses KLites’ issues. This month we have Papi Zak, one of the featured comedians on iflix’s ‘Oi! Jaga Mulut’…

When leaving a party early, is it rude to just slip out? I’m trying to avoid those awkward conversations where they ask ‘Why you leaving so early bro?’
Min, Brickfields

It’s always rude to slip out of a party early… when you get caught! Here’s a move that’ll let you slip out without being noticed: I call it The Ninja. You basically take your phone, make it known that you either need to make an urgent call or pretend someone is calling you, step outside and disappear. You’re welcome!

Ever since we got together, I’ve noticed that my partner has gotten… larger. Is there any way to suggest to him to watch his diet and lose weight without fat-shaming him?
WM, Segambut

What’s so wrong if your partner has gotten ‘larger’? If he’s happy then I don’t see what the problem is. Or are you unhappy because your partner gets to eat good stuff like nasi lemak and you have to stick to your gluten-free organic rice salad? Shame on you! As a big-sized guy, I can tell you that you’re not fat, ladies, you just obsessed with looking like a stick model. And let me tell you, no guy wants to do the horizontal mambo with a stick; we generally love the cushion for the pushin’.

What are your thoughts on big romantic gestures – flowers, candy, fancy dinner – on a first date?
Max, Seri Kembangan

My rule on the first date is simple: you’ve only got to wow your date enough to get a second date, or in my case, to get that kiss at the end of the night. I know, I’m a ‘ho. But flowers, candy… it’s all cliché stuff. Fancy dinner? Yes, if she’s a gold digger. Look, the only thing you should do on a first date is to make it memorable. Have fun, take them out to a mamak by the drain, be a clumsy gentleman. And don’t forget to Insta story the entire thing so that it’ll go viral.

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