People of KL: The six species of buffet wildlife

1. The Rudolph
The Rudolph is always taking food ‘for everyone else’. It likes to keep an eye on the rarer food items, retrieve entire trays of elusive grilled chicken wings, and then lug the feast back to its table. The Rudolph is also pretty adept when it comes to hiding unfinished food.

2. The Father Christmas
Every buffet restaurant lives in fear of the Father Christmas which can (and will) eat them straight out of 12 days of Christmas. Owing to its mega metabolism and seemingly unlimited stomach space, it can be identified by its signature nest of empty plates and giant pile of prawn shells. It produces satisfied burps as well.

3. The Ghost of Christmas Past
The Ghost of Christmas Past has repented of its gluttonous ways. Scientists are intrigued; the way it lets others have the last chicken wing, strolls calmly among food displays without grabbing everything impulsively, and its general temperament of notable self-control. Bravo.

4. The Scrooge
The Scrooge has spent the last week fasting so that it may have extra stomach space at the buffet. A true professional, it’s only found at the most expensive sections of the buffet line (oyster bar, sashimi and steak sections) so as to make the most of the buffet price. If all else fails, the Scrooge eschews carbs and lifts salmon slices off the sushi.

5. The Kevin McCallister
Much like its namesake, the Kevin McCallister is always experimenting with weird combinations (wasabi and Christmas puddings, hot chocolate oyster shots) at the buffet spread for (culinary) booby traps.

6. The Grinch
Avoiding all carbs and meat (and things that are generally said to be bad for you), the anti-buffet Grinch usually heads straight to the salad bar. It then spends the rest of the night pecking at greens and pine cones, and if it’s going on a binge, the crumbs of a tiny carrot cake (because vegetables). It will also declare itself ‘stuffed’ after two minutes into the feast. Buffet restaurants love them.