Nobody is safe from BuzzBallz. Their empty carcases litter the streets of London like so many cigarette butts, cackling in the face of rumours that Gen Z don’t drink alcohol. They most certainly do! They just can’t afford £9 pub pints! Following their status as pavement pariahs, BuzzBallz have now made the leap into our bars, and there’s even a vending machine dishing out these circular booze bombs in the latest of east London’s new wave dive bars.
Like Rasputin’s, Easy 8 and Helgi’s before it, All My Gods runs because the long-gone likes of the Crobar and Intrepid Fox walked. A touch cleaner and less stinky than its grimy forebears (though give it a few years and the filth will no doubt come), this project from the team behind Denmark Street’s sleek whiskey bar Dram also comes with innovations that would have made the Crobar’s most grouchy patrons shake their heads in despair. Alongside the BuzzBallz vending machine (which also dishes out cans of White Claw), there’s also a ‘Martininator’ - a Jagermeister machine bought on eBay that’s been tweaked to pour the coldest martinis in the UK at a chilly, Jack Nicholson-at-the-end-of-The-Shining temperature of minus -18 degrees. Something else Crobar regulars might have sniffed at it is the inclusion of Champagne on the menu. But this isn’t any champagne, this is London’s cheapest glass of Ruinart, aka the bartenders’ favourite, at £13 a flute.
If playing on a black velvet pool table while sipping champers to a soundtrack of Black Sabbath under a bespoke tapestry of a man mid-puke sounds a little discombobulating, then All My Gods is doing its job. A true dive bar takes many years to cultivate its unique brand of sketchy decadence, and All My Gods offers something a little different - a London rock bar with a sly sense of sophistication, wipe-clean padded pleather seating for god knows what and a very decent outside terrace. Don’t get too distracted by the picklebacks, instead check out the knock-off James Turrell light boxes on the walls of this old railway arch, and settle into a drinks menu which mixes the sacred with the profane.
Time Out tip
All My Gods are following the sub-tenner martini trend. Their take is £8, and made with Finlandia vodka, and comes directly from the aforementioned Martininator. When poured it can then be customised to your taste.