What next, then, for the novelty-seeking Londoner with a competitive streak?
You guessed it: throwing AXES!
Opening May 19, Whistle Punks Urban Axe Throwing provides big wooden targets, and lots of axes. The rest is up to you (OK, they show you how to do it first).
Observes founder Jools Whitehorn: 'Throwing an axe also feels a bit naughty and illicit.' Truly a date-night with a difference, then.
Two teams can do battle in a head-to-head contest, but rest assured you're not throwing the axes at each other – unless things get massively out of hand.
And organisers assure us that 'it’s a skill rather than a strength game,' so waifs and weaklings have every opportunity to out-axe the maladroit brutes they call friends.
If you too have attracted disapproval by screaming 'I WILL FUCKING AXE YOU TO DEATH, SON!' in your bikram yoga sesh, this is the sport you were meant to be playing all along. Whistle Punks might just be London's sharpest pastime since 'Davey Blade's Knife Fighting Centre and Gin Bar', the ill-fated pop-up that left dozens of hipsters seriously wounded in a converted Shoreditch warehouse!
Axe-chucking costs £30 per person, or £25 if there's more than eight of you. Book a slot at whistlepunks.com.