It’s all about the confidence
‘That’s what separates the babes from the basics. A true Mean Girl can take to the stage and sing nursery rhymes in a bin bag and the audience will eat it up. Tell yourself that what you have is gold and then sell, sell, sell, henny!’
‘Tit tape, spirit gum, Elmer’s glue stick: bring adhesives in general!’
Hairography is key
‘I like to listen to “Whip My Hair” on repeat for at least four hours before any performance. Practise until you’re coughing up hairballs.’
Exercise a healthy contempt for authority
‘A great performance is resolutely nonconformist. Just because you’re queen of the plastics doesn’t mean you can’t be a punk rock princess. There’s a little Janis Ian in all of us.’
‘Don’t forget to enjoy yourself and live your best life with your best gals. Being the ultimate Mean Girl means saying “I’m worth it... byotch!” but there’s enough of that plastic crown to go around!’
The Mean Girls' Christmas Talent Show. Hoxton Square Bar & Kitchen. Hoxton Overground. Thu Nov 30. £5. To perform email email@example.com.
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