There are certain things that you just don't do on the tube – making casual eye contact with fellow passengers, standing on the left side of the escalators (we don't care what the studies say, it's just not right), or stinking out the carriage with your Big Mac/donner kebab/anything deep-fried. But sometimes people don't play by the rules, and now Reddit users are sharing the weirdest things they've seen on the tube.
Everyone knows that eating on the tube is frowned upon, but apparently some people are taking it a step too far by not even having the courtesy to use cutlery:
'A guy eating an M&S Prawn Salad with his hands. It was so rough to watch. He then spent a good 2 minutes licking his hands clean.'
'A man peeling open a Pot Noodle and trying to eat the dehydrated contents with his fingers.'
'I saw a man in a three-piece suit eating a big tomato as one would eat an apple. It was awful.'
There's also lots of people in fancy dress. Some more, er, unusual than others:
'Twenty people dressed as bananas.'
'I once got on the Jubilee line at Canada Water, going to London Bridge. Around Bermondsey, I realised that there was a guy in a full gimp suit stood nearby. Just chilling there. Ball gag in, collar, lead and all. I didn't see who was holding the lead.'
While this guy seems to have mistaken the tube carriage for his bathroom:
A man shaving (although not as weird as the time I saw a guy walking down the street shaving; slow down London FFS...)
And speaking of which, there's A LOT of chat about bodily functions:
'A man vomiting into his own top hat.'
'I saw a drunk woman hike up her dress and squat down in the aisle of a district line train and urinate. The piss streamed down the carriage towards passengers. It was the last train and she apparently couldn't hold it.'
'Bloke vomited heavily into one of those single seats you get on the District Line. This was just as the train pulled in, so the seat contained it until I got off, thankfully. He got off, stayed on the same platform and by the time I'd reached the opposite side of the track he was making out with a girl that I assume he'd only just met. Sickly suave.'
Which kind of makes this guy's behaviour understandable, really:
'Very crowded Central line, late on a Friday night. Agitated chap with a little spray bottle filled with disinfectant, frantically spraying himself; mostly his feet, and anywhere anyone brushed against him.'
Oh, and here's a bonus pic of Mr Salad Fingers:
Image: Chris Billington