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Peter Capaldi as Malcolm Tucker
Rob Greig

Londoners are the sweariest people in the whole fucking country

By
James Manning
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Anyone who’s ever watched a Guy Ritchie film knows that London language can be a tad colourful, but now it’s been (semi-)officially confirmed that your average Londoner swears more than pretty much any other fucker in the whole sodding country.

A poll of 2,000 people has revealed that we swear on average 12 times an hour – more often than anyone except the Welsh, who also apparently drop an F, S or C-bomb every five minutes. Even Scotland swears less, and they have Malcolm Tucker and the cast of ‘Trainspotting’ – although, hang on, didn’t that lot all end up moving to London?

Admittedly, this may all be complete bollocks – the survey was conducted by the not-very-fucking-scientific Soap Supplier company (as in ‘wash your mouth out with’). But it is affirmation of something every Londoner instinctively knows: that even the most mild-mannered among us finds themselves swearing like a cabbie when confronted with slow walkers, people who don’t let passengers off before boarding, or the magic words: ‘the destination of this bus has changed’. F***ing bl**dy t**tting s**tting h*ll!

Sign up here to get the latest from London straight to your fucking inbox, you slag.

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