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How to escape a terrible Christmas party without offending the host – by a heist expert

By Sirin Kale
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Christmas season means Christmas parties, which – in turn – means less time to spend on the important things in life: eating alone in bed, watching Netflix... But how do you leave a party that’s going nowhere, without offending your host? We asked someone who knows a thing or two about escape routes – Scott Andrew Selby, a heist expert.

‘To ghost a party in style you have a couple of options that match up with high-end diamond heists. There’s the slow, methodical approach. Wear basics – dress so no one will notice you’re missing. Talk to everyone at the party so it’s established that you have been there. Then slip out a window or the back door. Or there’s the big splashy distraction. Here, you would tip over a punch bowl and make a big show of it. Cry out in dismay. Blame yourself. March off to the kitchen and come back with towels. Now everyone knows you are at the party. This is when you take off. Even those who spot you leaving will think you are slinking away to clean yourself up.’ 

Scott is the author of ‘Flawless: Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History’.

Looking for the perfect Xmas playlist for a party that doesn’t suck? Here are the 50 best Christmas songs.

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