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‘She looks a lot skinnier. She was pregnant before, though, I guess.’
‘I’m really attracted to 5B pencils.’
‘It’s Blue Monday and I’ve got indigestion.’
‘Would you rather have sausages for feet, or fish fingers for fingers?’
‘I can’t wait to not inhale mould.’
‘London’s pigeons are looking well.’
‘One hot chocolate and you bullshit like a trooper.’
‘Get off your bloody high horse and get on a Shetland pony.’
‘I can’t wait for you to meet him, but never speak of his penis.’
‘My face is so dry, I look like I’ve been licking a window.’
‘I’m dying of zinc, goodbye world.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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