‘We need to find out how many blokes lose their balls on stag dos per year.’
‘It’s a big salt-and-vinegar energy, the seaside, isn’t it?’
‘My vegan birthday cake is like a beautiful delicious version of the poo emoji.’
‘Thank GOD I have one carrot!’
‘I’m going through a Mars phase lately. The chocolate, not the planet.’
‘Do you know who I haven’t seen for a while? Kelly Clarkson.’
‘Your face looks like an elongated mango.’
‘I only want to get pregnant for the free dental work.’
‘Let’s just hope that next time we’re here, we get puked on again.’
‘There’s been a lot of fluids on that carpet over the years.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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