‘I bought incense so my couch could feel at home.’
‘I Marie Kondo-d my life before it was a thing.’
‘Do I fancy you or are you just in a high-vis?’
‘I’m totally into the idea of fake marriage.’
‘We’re pivoting to Fortnite.’
‘Seeing his meme account was the last straw.’
‘I wouldn’t have the balls to steal someone’s bananas!’
‘I’ll be honest: I only started drinking water a year ago.’
‘God, you’re such a stressful loiterer!’
‘First off, we need to agree on the surface area of a crumpet.’
‘We have to paint the ceiling, too. It got squirted with breast milk.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Love London and all its weirdness? Sign up now to get the best of the city straight to your inbox, as often as you like.