‘As you get older, you can’t trust farts.’
‘It’s a bit early for crack, isn’t it?’
‘That wasn’t a dad joke. It was a very serious question.’
‘To be honest, mate, what did you expect from a fetish night?’
‘I’m just going to quickly get a picture of the theatre or we’ll forget what we saw.’
‘If I stop eating avocados, my breasts will get smaller.’
‘I was in Gloucestershire… I was fine.’
‘It is a well known fact that vegans taste better.’
‘But if you put salt on a mollusc, surely it feels discomfort?’
‘I’d definitely be fine to eat a pigeon after Brexit. I’d roast it over a fire in the street.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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