‘Who touches other people’s body parts nowadays?’
‘Never trust a person who doesn’t use apostrophes.’
‘We named her Stella. Yeah, after the lager.’
‘I can’t drink merlot because it reminds me of church.’
‘I’ve got a geography A level and some colouring pencils. Get it done.’
‘I think I’m going to get a hair transplant on my legs.’
‘I made a Nick Jonas Facebook account and married it.’
‘I want sacred love – I don’t want dick pics.’
‘Come on, babe, let’s pick out your butt plug.’
‘I can tell she’s a lesbian because she eats kiwi fruit with the skin on.’
‘I was so drunk last night I went home with a Zone 5.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.