‘I know dogs have knees, but do they have ankles?’
‘Take my bra off your head! Now I’m going to have to wash it.’
‘When you finished your masters, it’s not like you became master of the universe.’
‘Why is our wisteria so lacklustre?’
‘Monzo’s like, “Bitch, you’ve had too many manicures.”’
‘I got so jealous I did a burp.’
‘No, no, no. I’m a Virgo. So everything needs to be scheduled.’
‘You don’t want the memory of eating a dead rat.’
‘I don’t go clubbing since my near-death experience. It was caused by my lunch box giving me septicaemia.’
‘What do you mean, “What are chickens supposed to do?”’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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