‘You know I used to be a foot model? My dad said I had a face for radio.’
‘At uni I used to get drunk and rant about eggs.’
‘I had a dream last night that I was watching Brad Pitt have a poo. Nineties Brad.’
‘I’m on a fish and chips diet. You know, it is still vegetables.’
‘I only use yellow gesture emojis now. When I pick the white skin ones, I feel racist.’
‘If I’d married someone else I could have had five lovely daughters instead of five sons.’
‘Do you think I should wear a jumper, so they take me more seriously?’
‘How good was that crustless quiche we had at mine?’
‘Mate, you weren’t having a bad trip. You were just having a bad moment in a trip.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve now made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.