‘I’ve forgotten how to snog, it’s been so long.’
‘I don’t think I can wear these shoes any more – they’re hurting my teeth.’
‘How much further? I don’t want to burn off all the calories I’ve paid for!’
‘So then I put my penis in a loaf of bread.’
‘I’ve revolutionised my overripe banana situation.’
‘Don’t be mean or I will continue to butter your shoulder.’
‘I got another shit tattoo the other week. Here, have a guess.’
‘You cannot seriously be drinking wine from a tiny jam jar.’
‘He’s dyslexic – he can’t use Bumble.’
‘Yeah, man, the vegan dairy scene is really kicking off these days.’
‘You have quinoa on your inner thigh.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve now made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.