‘I was so depressed, the next day I drove to Camden and got dreadlocks.’
‘Do you prefer circumcised dicks or normal ones?’
‘I told her that I’m just focused on going to the gym right now – I can’t be in a relationship.’
‘I find courgettes quite unpredictable.’
‘Can vegans breastfeed?’
‘I’ve never had a cake pop I didn’t regret.’
‘Hungover is an emotion.’
‘I’d rather look at myself than at you.’
‘Say nothing to her, mate. Fart on her pillow and give her pink eye.’
‘When in doubt, apply lipgloss.’
‘I wouldn’t trust him with a bargepole.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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