‘I taught my 52-year-old husband how to crack an egg this week. He’s now a scrambled eggspert.’
‘A new guy that I’m seeing stayed over. I haven’t farted in 24 hours!’
‘This would’ve been nerdy before. But in 2018, everyone’s an orc.’
‘I thought someone was trying to send my dog a dick pic.’
‘I thought I’d found Mark Darcy, but he was actually just a massive Daniel Cleaver.’
‘The way technology’s going, we’ll have a shrink ray pretty soon.’
‘My boyfriend is allergic to my three favourite things: peanut butter, cats and ket.’
‘I’d just rather have clean hair than get into Berghain.’
‘Porridge is a thing! People keep loving porridge!’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve now made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.