‘Polyamory? I can’t even get one person to like me!’
‘It’s because of jazz flute and coconut lattes that this country is in the mess it’s in.’
‘I’ve never Dutch-ovened my cat, but I know he wouldn’t mind it.’
‘He’s got a brewery and a baby – what more do you need?’
‘You’re out so much that your dog isn’t going to relate to you as an owner.’
‘What time is your train to Northern Ireland?’
‘I obviously had a lot of poop stuck inside me. Italy clogged me up with all the carbs.’
‘She’s so fucking middle-class, she farts Jo Malone.’
‘Is that burnt toast or am I having a stroke?’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ (£6.99) is out now. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.