‘Oh my gosh, you spilt that chicken cassoulet everywhere.’
‘It’s not sick if it’s dead already.’
‘I need to blubber up like a seal – winter is coming!’
‘There’s no point buying a calendar, they won’t let you touch their willies.’
‘I want to go to a restaurant and eat this thing called fish and chips.’
‘I know I’m a catch because I visit National Trust properties out of choice.’
‘Good job I’ve got a handsome dentist.’
‘I think if I were a burlesque dancer my stage name would be “Healthy Flapjack”.’
‘Who am I to rob a man’s oats?’
‘Isn’t Vladimir Putin the bad guy from the Harry Potter films?’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ (£6.99) is out now. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.