‘Do not snort the Lemsip.’
‘A core part of my personality is performatively disliking “Love Actually”.’
‘I wish Dad would carry me and not eat all my candy.’
‘My husband is currently singing a song to a dying hamster.’
‘I refer to myself as “big sexy” an awful lot.’
‘Ryan moved to Berlin a few years ago and, if anything, it just made him worse.’
‘Who cares about arms? Your arms are a bunch of piss compared to your legs.’
‘I’m actually never dating a pop star again.’
‘Do you know why I’m so woke? Because I was born in Woking.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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