There’s nothing to make you go ‘Hello darkness, my old friend’ like the certain knowledge that London is full of pets who are more powerful than you’ll ever be. But sadly, it’s true. This city is chocka with furry friends who’ve skyrocketed into the big time with their adorable content. Read on to find out which pet is this city's most powerful, ranked according to the intangible criteria of ‘cuteness’ and ‘clout’.
10. Chunki the french bulldog
First up is the literal underdog in this fight. Chunki by name, chonky by nature. This little nugget is an adorable unit of a pooch. And his maximalist physique is reflected in a maximalist lifestyle: this dog has all the gear, from an extensive wardrobe of slogan T-shirts to a special white velvet sofa all of his own.
Follower count 21.6k
Superpower The cutest little frowny face.
Weakness Looks naked without a bowtie.
9. Hodge the cathedral cat
Okay, this monochrome moggy hasn’t got the biggest follower count out there, but what he does have is far more powerful: proximity to The Big Man, aka God himself. When he’s not stalking Southwark Cathedral he can be found overseeing purchases at the gift shop, which flogs pottery tiles marked with his divine pawprint.
Follower count 2.3k
Superpower Connections – this cat has a hotline to the top and he knows it.
Weakness Too busy saying prayers to up his follower count
8. Terrence the ferret
Londoners are disgustingly narrow-minded when it comes to pet worship. Dogs yes, cats sure. Smaller mammals? Hardly get a look in. I'm not suggesting you should offer your nearest rat an affectionate scritch behind the ear. But Terry the ferret's adorable little face is worthy of your adulation: just don't get too close, ferrets are notoriously bitey.
Follower count 759
Superpower Wiggly little nose
Weakness Too small, someone might step on him
7. Copper and Skye the klee kai
This unusual pair of pooches are klee kais, a rare breed that's a bit like a pint-sized husky. Which means they’re very, very vocal: perfect for video, where they demonstrate their formidable voice powers by barking the alphabet, or having animated conversations with their patient owners.
Follower count 163k
Superpower Copper does a killer Mariah Carey impression.
Weakness Their habit of barking at nothing isn’t always popular with London neighbours.
Move over Choupette! Even the late Karl Lagerfeld's prized cat can't outdo Lloyd the italian greyhound for sheer style. His sleek grey physique is accented by glamorous fashions: think oversized black velvet bows, chic monochrome raincoats or dramatic red capes. Every week is London Fashion Week in his east London household.
Follower count 25.7k
Superpower Fashion – he’s got a costume for every occasion.
Weakness His trendy little legs are as skinny as matchsticks: no good having him on your side in a fight.
5. Alfie, Bob and Miss Molly
Apparently, rescue shelters are struggling to find homes for black cats because they’re harder to photograph, so they’re shunned by insta-conscious potential owners. But don’t even think about telling this soulful-eyed Crouch End gaggle of moggies that the camera doesn’t love them. Mr Bob looks especially beautiful with snow in his fur: a real treat for the eyes.
Follower count 38.8k
Superpower Hard stares.
Weakness No sense of humour.
4. Rolo the mini sausage dog
Rolo the mini sausage dog has two foods in his name, which makes sense because he’s so cute he’s basically edible. His fur is the colour of expensive milk chocolate, his eyes melt like Lindor truffles, his paws... okay, we're not advocating canine cannibalism but we could gobble him right up. Plus, he makes even the scuzziest London dog parks look cute.
Follower count 26.4k
Superpower Eyes you could fall into.
Weakness Tiny legs, plus a million dog fans begging for pats, make for the world's slowest walkies.
3. Quita the kitty
Try and put a normal moggy on a lead and you’ll end up with bloodied ribbons for arms. Frankly, that’s probably how it should be. But on insta, different rules apply. Quita is an unusually biddable tabby who happily strolls around London’s landmarks on a leash, and even dresses up in costumes for special occasions. Odd but absolutely adorable.
Follower count 15.7k
Weakness Not a true cat.
2. Puggy Smalls
Yep, you've heard of the Notorious BIG, but have you encountered the Notorious PUG Puggy Smalls? This wrinkle-faced wreaker of (very cute) havoc is known for living the #puglife, dressing up in Louis Vuitton hoodies and for his insatiable appetite for delicious foods (many of which are supplied via sweet sponsorship deals).
Follower count 212k
Superpower Looking deadly serious in the most ridiculous costumes imaginable.
Weakness Can be led astray by gourmet treats.
1. Marcel Le Corgi
His nickname is ‘His Royal Lowness’ for a reason: this beautifully silky corgi is truly the king of London’s insta pets. As well as being unapologetically gorgeous, he's devoted to helping his loyal subjects. So that means he offers perfectly pitched day-out recommendations at destinations including Greenwich, Chinatown, Sketch and, naturally, Buckingham Palace.
Follower count 139k
Superpower London knowledge - this pooch could moonlight as a black cab driver.
Weakness ‘His Royal Lowness’ has an ego the size of the queen’s pastel hat collection.