Splash!

Series one, episode five
Might this be the least eagerly awaited final in the history of celebrity talent shows? Even during these dark days for Saturday-night primetime TV, it seems quite possible. Certainly, it’s hard not to view Tom Daley’s ‘Splash!’ as the last vestiges of the London 2012 spirit bellyflopping into an Olympic-sized swimming pool filled with bathos and ignominy.

Still, perhaps we can find some pearls amid the ordure. Judge Jo Brand has managed it, describing Omid Djalili’s top-board plunge as ‘so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes’. And given that a year or so ago, Brand helmed a documentary about her inability to cry in public, that’s saying something. Whoever lines up for this final, we’re confident that there won’t be a dry eye in the house.