Los Angeles has long been known as a safe haven for open-minded transplants from across the country, but a few minor adjustments are necessary in order to fully acclimate. This list will hopefully minimize your culture shock and maximize your SoCal experience.
Check out the original 11 'welcome to LA' things that will make you laugh.
1. Front license plates. California vehicle code requires both a rear AND a front license plate — you'll probably learn this the hard way, by way of a ticket. Modern car fronts have unique aerodynamic shapes and cleverly-sculpted impact bumpers...none of which were ever intended for mounting an aluminum rectangle. Our city has plethora of parallel parking street spots, so you're bound to experience the inevitable 'dented front plate and cracked front bracket' at some point, as well.
2. Flip-flops are acceptable attire for pretty much everything. (Note: this unwritten rule only applies west of the 405.) Ditch those brown pleather sandals from Target and save the Tevas for your next kayaking trip...this is the land of flip-flops. It'll take about two months for your body to adjust to the sensation of a vinyl thong cutting between your toes, and perhaps another few months to accept their namesake flip-flop sound.
3. We have truly free beaches. Both the state constitution and the California Coastal Act guarantee public access to the majority of California's shoreline. This basically means you can swim, surf and walk along nearly ALL of our beaches — even the ones that butt up to the private backyards of multi-million dollar mansions in Malibu. Don't fear the glaring stares from wealthy home owner as you walk a stone's throw from their compounds. Simply smile and give them a polite wave.
4. You're basically living in a desert. OK, so technically LA is classified as a "Mediterranean climate." In actuality, Downtown LA hit a record high of 113 in 2010, and last year was one of the driest years... ever. If you hadn't already heard: we've been at the most severe level of drought since the federal government began issuing regular drought reports. You wouldn't know it, though, with all the sprinkler systems, decorative fountains and car washes steadily running day in and day out. If you truly want a Tatooine experience, try hiking Runyon Canyon in late August.
5. We have our own language. OK, so Valley Girl came out 35 years ago, and Nicolas Cage's hair came out shortly thereafter. Although nobody really talks like that any longer, you can't help but pick up some "like," "dude" and "totally" after conversing with the locals for a few months. Ladies can expect to gain some upspeak (ending every sentence as if it's a question?), but for the love of god, please don't get vocal fry. For an advanced course, spend a few hours on the Hotel Erwin rooftop.
P.S. You know you're a Valley girl when...
6. Speaking of languages, you should probably learn another. My personal recommendation is Spanish...for obvious reasons. After all, it's the most commonly-spoken language in the world. Pretty much everyone and everything is represented here. Throw a few lines of Chinese in Alhambra, Korean in KTown, Japanese in Little Osaka, Tagalog at the Arko Foods Market, Thai in Hollywood and Russian at the Snow White Cafe.
7. We also have a food truck for every language. One of the great ongoing debates in LA is where one can find the best food trucks. The answer is that there's no correct answer. Within a few months of moving here, though, you'll be able to brag to all your friends that you've had galbi tacos, galbi sushi and sushi tacos.
8. We're not too keen on left-turn arrows. This would explain why 3-4 drivers on average are still completing their left turns after the light has already cycled. (Note: these statistics have not been reviewed for accuracy, but you can take my word for it.)
9. We have 24-hour carpool lanes. And 3-hour "anti-gridlock" tow-away zones. Sure, we have the absolute worst traffic in the nation, but we pride ourselves on our pig's lipstick! You might shave a few minutes off your daily commute by sticking to the curb lane on La Brea; just don't park there between 4-7pm while you're browsing at Bonobos, Self Edge or Lab Art.
10. We take our smog tests seriously. Angelenos have to get their cars smogged every other year. Did you move here from another state, and bring your hybrid with you? Starting March 26, you still have to get your car smogged, too. Pro tip: if your check engine light is on, you'll fail automatically and you'll still pay for the test. Smog shops are also required to report any failures to the DMV, so be sure to go with a "free re-test" station. Exemptions do exist for older cars.
11. It's called the "Left Coast" for a reason. I'm pretty sure Obama/Biden car magnets were standard equipment on all new cars for the better part of the late aughts. You'll likely inhale secondhand marijuana smoke on a daily basis. LA banned single-use plastic bags over a year ago. Santa Monica banned smoking at bus stops. West Hollywood calls pets "companion animals" and no longer recognizes genders for its public bathrooms. A standing court order forbids the LAPD from confiscating homeless people's belongings. Don't fight it...embrace it! There's no better place to see this in action than Venice Beach on a sunny Saturday afternoon.