Fall is great and all (see our list of the best things to do in the fall with kids) but…it also comes with some serious BS. Like leaves. And burning hot drinks (see: hot chocolate). And onion-like layers that make it impossible to get out the door on time. Here are 17 reasons NYC parents love to hate fall!
1. You need to save every f*cking leaf your kid brings home.
2. You will be unwillingly dragged into a Gangs of New York-style DIY competition with family friends to make THE best Halloween costume for your kids.
3. You’ll go apple picking. Each of your kids will need their OWN bag and their OWN apples, leaving you to carry 100lbs of apples home, which you will then NEVER USE.
4. Your go-to babysitters have all gone back to school.
6. Getting your kids out the door takes twice as long with all those layers...which they then freak out over and need to peel off on the subway because it's too hot.
7. Your kids have grown out of absolutely everything that fit them last season, and you will realize that with horror on the first cool day.
8. Your kids only want help with the gross part of pumpkin carving.
9. When they’re done carving, you’ll put the pumpkins on the stoop. Someone will totally steal them.
10. You will be expected to carry candy but not eat it.
11. You’ll then have to devise sneaky ways to take the candy you want. “Here…let me ‘sort’ this for you.”
12. Someone will spill a piping hot drink on you...because no more iced drinks. It’ll probably be your kids, and you'll have to hold back an atrocious pain-tinged string of expletives.
13. Your kids will beg you to watch a scary Halloween movie. You’ll let them watch it. Then, they won’t fall asleep ever again because you shouldn’t have let them watch it in the first place.
14. Your kids will get sick, and so will you.
15. You will at some point, without a doubt, eat sh*t on the sidewalk because you slipped on a pile of acorns.
16. Your brood will suddenly want to bake with you right this second. You haven’t used your oven since last year and it desperately needs a cleaning.
17. You can't get your kid a hot chocolate at Starbucks without fighting crushing hordes of Pumpkin Spice Latte addicts. But you’ll do it anyway…because your kids are the best.