23 things all New York City parents secretly do

NYC parents, we know your secrets—and from bribing kids with frozen yogurt to ordering off the kids’ menu, we accept you

New York parents, you're a pretty sneaky bunch. While out and about exploring the best playgrounds, the 50 best family restaurants and NYC museums with the kids, we know you're up to all your sly tricks. Here are some of the awesomely secret things you guys get away with (p.s...the secret's safe with us).


1. Letting your more-than-44-inch-tall kid duck through the turnstiles...no one's looking, right?

2. Pretending you don't know the answer to a question and just saying "ask your mother/father" when your kid is in that torturous "why?" phase. 

3. Using your toddler needing to go as an excuse to cut the insane bathroom lines at Grand Central (and everywhere else).

4. "Inspecting" Halloween candy to make sure it's safe. Just kidding, stole your Snickers.

5. Unplugging the TV and insisting it's broken when you just can't watch Frozen one more time without totally losing your sh*t.

6. Claiming it's your kids' idea to go to the playground when you're actually the one that wants to climb around on it.

7. Portraying Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc., as note-taking, punishing figureheads so that your kids will just freaking behave.

8. Silently counting down the last hour before bedtime so you can finally crash on the couch with some Netflix and Nutella. 

9. Massively abbreviating your kid's bedtime story with book in hand—Shh...they'll never know...(well, until they can read).

10. Selling your kids hard on making friends with a certain kid, not because that kid is awesome but because their parents seem like cool potential friends. 

11. Playing hide and seek so you can check your texts or e-mail (and sneakily throw that blankie in the wash). 

12. Secretly preferring the Kidz Bop version of "Shake It Off"... 

13. Telling the kids Prospect Park is closed when you don't have the strength to herd them out of the house.

14. Having the little ones wear really cheesy NYC paraphernalia to represent, because you'd never actually wear it yourself (but secretly love it).

15. Saying the trip to Shake Shack is "special" and "just for the kids," when really you are craving a chocolate milkshake just as bad.

16. Writing names and addresses on everything, because "I won't lose it, promise" DOES NOT CUT IT.

17. Continuing to make 'em wear their adorable winter bunny-ear hat in April when it's 70 degrees—because they should keep their heads warm, not because you want everyone on the subway to see how adorable the kid is.

18. Telling your kid their ice cream cone is melting and dripping all over the place and that you need to clean it up, then eating most of it. 

19. Making things disappear while cleaning. Really, can't find it. 

20. Keeping a stash of junk food the kids have no idea exists. 

21. Ordering off the kids' menu for yourself whenever you can get away with it. Heaven.

22. Telling a friend your kid is sick when you feel like canceling plans. 

23. Using your kids as line-waiters/placeholders/and grocery runners with promise of Froyo. Froyo will get you a long way.