Winter cuffing season is over, which means that New Yorkers are looking to get single and hook up this spring. Before she hits Littlefield with her comedy show Tinder Live, stand-up and writer Lane Moore shared her tips on meeting a mate IRL.
“ There's no one definitive thing you can say to have anyone on Tinder immediately wanna have sex with you, but there are ways to hedge your bets a little so you end up as naked as you'd ideally be. Here are a few.”
1. “ Be honest about what you want. If you just wanna get laid, just say in your profile, "Looking for something casual" because everyone knows what that's code for, and this way you're both immediately on the same page and can get right down to having sex in that alley while eating cheese fries.”
2. “ If you're a guy, mention that you love cunnilingus. If that's specifically what you love and what you wanna do, it's worth just saying, right? Plus, think about how much that immediately differentiates you from the guys who are like, ‘Poundtown: population you.’”
3. “ Be a person. There's nothing wrong with just wanting to get laid, but it's always more fun to have sex with someone who you at least kind of like, right? So as long as your profile says you're into something casual, from there, just be your fun, caring, kind self. Win-win.”
4. “ If you're a human woman, be a human woman. Women already knew this one, but just in case they didn't.”
5. “ Say, "Do you want to have some fun sex with me?" Say it like that, or not like that at all, but there's nothing worse than someone who makes no freaking mention of sex and then meets you IRL and starts initiating something sexual way too soon (looking at you, Ben in 2014). So just be clear from the jump and then, you know, be hot and charming or whatever (lol Ben in 2014 you did neither of these things. Bye, Ben.).”
Go to the event!
Survivors of New York's grueling online dating scene will find solace at this hilarious show, where host Lane Moore navigates Tinder onstage, swiping and messaging with the help of writer, cartoonist and comedian Daniel Kibblesmith and author Sady Doyle. Expect big laughs, some cringe-worthy moments and, who knows, maybe even a love connection (but don't hold your breath).