Yesterday, I looked into my bodega's always-empty ice cream shelf, and it was completely full. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen. I'm going to assume that if you're reading this, you probably lost a lot of money this week on "I was supposed to take a bus to Williamsburg but if I don't get a Lyft my toes will snap off" cab rides. My mother called last night and offered to buy me a pair of UGGs. So, yeah: This weather has officially become historic.
Wind chills this morning brought NYC's temperature down to 0 degrees, a general chill that's set to stick around into next week. Predictions estimate a temperature of 11 degrees (along with 10 to 20 mph wind chills) for New Year's Eve on Sunday night, which would be the coldest one on record since 1962, according to AccuWeather.
Considering the fact that NYC Emergency Management has issued an extreme cold weather alert and a code blue for NYC's homeless community, and the fact that prolonged outdoor exposure could lead to hypothermia and frostbite, we'd perhaps suggest that you not join the brave (read: bananas) revelers heading to Times Square for the heavily secured ball drop. The cosmos is finally giving you an excuse to stay indoors and watch She's Gotta Have It. Take it, you fool!