The Covid-19 pandemic has been hard on all of us, but the group least likely to be able to comprehend and express the frustration, and even grief, at this disruption to ‘normal’ life may be our children. In Singapore, there has been a recognition that the change in academic and social routines have negatively impacted our kids, and that more efforts need to be made to build mental resilience in our young.
Self-published children’s book author and working mum Valerie Cheng, is no stranger to feelings of anxiety and helplessness. When she and her husband noticed their children acting out on these indescribable ‘big feelings’ at the start of the pandemic, it was the catalyst for her to write the picture book Where in the World is Peace?. The beautifully illustrated book has a simple aim – to equip children (and perhaps even parents) with the tools to overcome tough emotions and reach a place of peace. We chat with her to find out more about how her first-ever children’s book came about and her thoughts on children’s mental wellness in Singapore.
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Hi Valerie, congrats on publishing your first children's book! How do you feel?
It feels amazing, I still can’t believe I have the actual book in my hands! So much love and labour went into this book. I didn’t know anything about making a book, so I spent a lot of time reading, researching, and joining Facebook groups to learn how to self-publish my book. I am also extremely grateful for the support of friends and family who helped me in this journey. Until now, I am still learning how to do the marketing – it is a slow but very fulfilling journey. It makes me so happy when people text me to say they loved my book or when they send me pictures of their kids holding my book!
Without giving too much away, can you share with our readers what this book is about?
Where in the World is Peace? paints a picture of the anxiety and stress that children and adults feel when they go through big moments in their lives. It shows them that they are in control of their feelings and that there are simple tools they can use such as breathing, mindfulness, meditation, letting go, and affirmations to help them find peace. It is also a good reminder for all of us to accept things that we have no control over and to always be in the present moment. We all stress about regrets over the past and worry about the future, about what is to come when it hasn’t even happened yet. So instead of spending our time worrying, this book teaches us simple strategies to cope with that stress.
You decided to write about this because your children were struggling with 'big feelings' during the pandemic. Could you tell us more about why you wrote this book and what you think kids are going through right now?
Anxiety and stress can manifest in different ways for different people. Before the pandemic in 2019, I experienced anxiety attacks and couldn’t explain how I felt to other people. I started to write about how it felt for me and tried to find ways to cope. I started practising meditation at an early age, but slowly stopped practising when I became busy with three kids. So when my anxiety attacks started, I went back to my meditation and breathing practice to find peace. Then when the pandemic started and we all had to stay home, my husband and I tried our best to make it fun for the kids. But despite that, we noticed our children having 'big feelings' they couldn’t explain, and even the tiniest things would trigger a massive meltdown. I realised I was also affected by this, reacting rather than responding. And since breathing, mindfulness and meditation helped me, I realised it could help other children too. So, I made a picture book for children to understand how to cope. Kids are affected by stress too, whether we realise it or not, and this pandemic has magnified that overwhelming feeling.
Do you think we are paying adequate attention to children's mental health here in Singapore?
I think we can do so much more in terms of paying attention to children’s mental health. The big issue is, can we recognise the signs when our children are going through mental health issues? In the past, it was something we rarely talked about, like a taboo subject. But I am glad that nowadays, more and more people are recognising the need to start conversations about mental health, and more people are recognising that mental health awareness and wellness should start early on. There is still so much we can do, and we can start with awareness and taking away the stigma that comes with mental issues.
What should parents look out for and how can they be supportive of their kids?
I think most parents do not know the signs and symptoms of stress or anxiety in their children. My kids are generally happy, energetic and full of life, but months into the pandemic, they started to show some signs of “not being themselves”, especially at night. They started to cry and hide under the bedcovers, and their appetite decreased. When I tried to ask them what was wrong, they said, “Nothing, I can’t explain what I’m feeling”. If your children are showing behaviour out of the ordinary, pay attention – it might be a cry for help, and if we don’t address it, it may affect their resilience and mental wellness. Talk to your kids, explain the situation we're in, and what we can and cannot control. Teach them some breathing, mindfulness, meditation and affirmation techniques, and keep the conversation going.
You had your own anxiety to deal with during the Covid-19 lockdowns too – I'm sure many parents can relate. Is there a message or some advice you want to share with them?
I want to tell all parents that everyone experiences stress and anxiety at some point in our lives, but you don’t need to get stuck there. You are not alone and your children are not alone. We are all experiencing the same thing with this pandemic, just in varying degrees. There are some things we can do to help us get through these feelings. Pay attention to your own thoughts and feelings. Know that happiness is a choice. Also, be aware of how you converse with your children: do you reflect your fears and anxiety onto them? It is normal for you to feel the 'big feelings', but when you do feel it, be aware, and remember to look within you and find your own peace. When you do, I hope you share it with the world – it is exactly what we need now.
The picture book features beautiful artwork by Zuzana Svobodová. How were you involved on the illustration side of things?
Before I found an illustrator for my book, I already had a vision for my story – how it was going to look and what the drawings were going to be on each page. I took pictures from the internet and pasted it on my book draft to help my illustrator understand my vision. I also wrote descriptions of the character’s feelings on each page. Then I looked at books in my children’s room, and saw some books drawn by Zuzana. I really loved her drawing style and her characters. I thought she did really amazing illustrations, so I went to her website, emailed her and pitched my book idea. She loved my idea so we started working together, and this book was born.
What was the impact you wanted to make with this specific look and feel?
I wanted children to want to get my book and read it for themselves. That is also why I chose Zuzana to do my illustrations because her characters are so endearing and adorable that you can’t help but want to read the book. The girl character in my book is based on my eldest and only daughter Sophia. I wanted a girl hero in my first book to empower little girls. My second book will be based on my sons, Gavin and Xander. I tried to make the setting simple and easily relatable to kids, so I chose the beach setting, because who doesn’t like the beach?
Speaking of impact, proceeds of the sales of this book will go towards two important causes, namely the International Justice Mission to eradicate online sexual exploitation of children and the International Association of Human Values to help youth affected by war. So, supporting this book will not only help you or your kids, but it will help other children too! Let’s share our peace with the world.
Do you have a favourite illustration/spread from the book?
My favourite illustration from the book is on the last page. It makes me feel so calm and so peaceful every time I look at it. I also really miss travelling so this illustration takes me away from reality and our new norm and brings me back to my happy place – the beach.
I'm sure you have more stories to share. Tell us, what else can we look forward to from you?
I am on a quest to write more children's books to make the world a happier and more peaceful place by exploring kids' big questions. I am currently working on my second children’s picture book.
Just to end things off on a lighter note – what does a perfect day out in SG with your children look like?
We love going to the many beautiful parks and amazing playgrounds in Singapore. We also love the beach and we love to try new restaurants which Singapore never seems to run out of! Anywhere I go, as long as I am with my family is a perfect day for me. My kids are still young, so they still love spending time with their parents. I will relish this now, as I know that in a few years time, they will want to be independent already!
