Greystanes Hotel

Bars, Pubs Greystanes
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Greystanes Hotel
Photograph: Greystanes Hotel

The Australian dream of a big backyard for the kids still exists at this sprawling boozer out west

If you were wondering where superheroes spend their weekends then you haven’t been to the Greystanes lately. Out the back of this vast suburban pub you’re liable to bump into child-sized versions of Iron Man, the Hulk, Spider-man, and Thor, dressed up for birthday parties that are held on the lengthy tables in the covered open-air space.

So what’s the big drawcard, apart from super-cheap kids’ meals and clusters of balloons on each table, provided free and pre-inflated for every booked birthday function? It’s the two massive, fenced-off playgrounds where the little people can cavort safely while the bigger ones take a breather over schooners of quotidian beer or bottles of vino that all stay prudently under $28.

The little tackers can lose themselves inside the colourful five-storey play maze next to a slippery slide, all undercover. Next door, meanwhile, is a veritable paddock boasting gumtrees, a kind of spinning donut covered at any given moment by a gaggle of giddy squealers, and an elaborate flying fox that propels the brave-hearted on a ten-metre flight over an ocean of bark chips. On weekends, they’ve even got a jumping castle installed (weather permitting). There’s also a dedicated ice-cream counter, a slushie machine, and a large stable of high chairs – at this rate, the place might have to start advertising itself as ‘adult friendly’.

Peer past the bistro counter to discover an enormous sports bar/TAB, with more data-displaying screens than NASA and a smattering of grim punters who don’t seem to have vacated their seats since the late 1980s. The pub fare here is perfectly respectable with pasta and pizza as well as the usual schnitties and steaks, and they do some gut-busting rib specials.

If you’re flying child-free then there’s a beer garden out front where you can smoke; a cosy lounge bar with a wood-fired heater; covers bands playing on Friday and Saturday nights; and a motel for customers who push it too hard – $99 lets you bed down for the night.   

The former Greystanes Inn is a pub that is used to being all things to all people and it’s clearly getting a caning. Indeed, on Time Out’s visit that famous flying fox was out of action due to a busted seat. The manager assures us it’ll be fixed ASAP, no doubt in time for their annual spring charity event, Superhero Saturday – facepainting, stalls, games, and a best-dressed competition, with proceeds going to Cottage Bear. There’s no better reason for little Avengers to assemble in the whole of western Sydney.

By: Nick Dent

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Venue name: Greystanes Hotel
Contact:
Address: 701 Merrylands Rd
Greystanes
2145
Opening hours: Mon-Sat 10am-1.30am; Sun 10am-midnight
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