The people of Sydney have spoken. And they’re not particularly original. But in a true case of democracy in action, we’ve got to listen to them anyway.
The final ship in our city’s brand new fleet of ferries will be named Ferry McFerryface. Ferry McFerryface wasn’t even the most popular name in Transport NSW's 'Name Your Ferry' poll. That honour goes to the actually funny Boaty McBoatface. Unfortunately, Boaty McBoatface is the (perfect) name of a small yellow submarine attached to British research vessel RRS Sir David Attenborough.
So the next most popular option was picked. And let's be real here, it sucks. Boaty McBoatface is unimpeachable. If I were Nabokov I'd describe it as a pair of pursed lips blowing two kisses before cracking a smile: Mac Boat Face.
Sometimes, repetition amplifies humour. Not in this case. McFerryface is a weak imitation. It's hard to say. The alliterative potential of Ferry McFurface has been squandered by an excess 'ee' sound. We could have had it all. We could have named this vessel Ferry Bread, or Ferry Ripe or Ferry Bueller. We could have honoured our past. Acknowledged a leader in the resistance to colonisation: we could have named it Pemulwuy.
I know it's a cliche to say "just think of the children". But seriously. Just think of them. Think about how embarrassing it will be to explain to your seven year old a decade from now that the boat that's chugging them across the Harbour, gliding beside Victor Chang, Fred Hollows and Catherine Hamlin, is named after an off-brand copy of something the British did. Imagine your child's withering glare. Even little Felix can tell Ferry McFerryface isn't funny.
Of course, Ferry McFerryface isn't alone in the tribe of Namey McNamefaced forms of transportation. Sweden has Trainy McTrainface. We can only hope it will be the last of its kind. This Horsey McHorseface is dead. Let's stop flogging it.
Want to experience a ferry first hand? Here are the best ferry trips in Sydney.