Transport NSW has released a video detailing its Bankstown line upgrades, and its 3D animations put those Taiwanese news-reenactment stories to shame.
Much of this promised future is truly utopian. "New CBD Metro stations will help ease crowding at Town Hall and Wynyard" they promise us. They will "save up to 11 minutes from Bankstown to Martin Place, and up to 16 minutes from Sydenham to Macquarie Park".
The trains will be "fast, safe and reliable". There will be lifts at all stations! Lifts! And level platforms mean prams, wheelchairs, and granny-trollies won't get stuck between the train and the platform. Don't mind the gap, there isn't one!
The speedy, space-grasshoppers of our future will be pumped full of sweet, sweet air conditioning.
And inside, patrons will laugh with pure, unbridled joy at the pleasure of their commute.
But the greatest news of all? In peak times, trains will run every four minutes. Let me repeat that.
Yes! Oh what glory! What reduction in wait times! Almost as if Sydney is a global city in the 21st century. It's... it's beautiful.
But there is a dark side to this shining vision for our Harbour city. For instance, judging by the planning animations, there will be no people of colour riding the trains.
In addition to the stifling proliferation of caucasian faces. There's also this.
Nooooo! 2024?
Gif: Zardoz
That's almost as long as it takes for a Western Line service to arrive after 11.30pm on a weeknight *boom tisch*.
Here's the full video:
Want to know more about the future of Sydney? Here are ten developments coming to Sydney by 2026.