Did you know that we’re all full of crap? Literally. The human body can hold up to five kilograms of faeces at any given time. In line with the growing awareness about the importance of gut health to our overall wellbeing, the poop-ularity of colonic hydrotherapy, also known as ‘colonic irrigation’ or simply a ‘colonic’, has been flush with interest in recent years.
We went to pH Clinic in the Northern Beaches, where they have two designated treatment rooms with the latest medical grade German technology for this specific offering. The aim of the colonic is to help with digestive health and bloating, which may be due to the consumption of certain medications, processed foods, toxins, alcohol and stress.
If you’ve ever had a pap smear, you’d be familiar with the set-up of laying on an examination bed with your pants off and your knees up. But this is an altogether different experience, plus the room smells like essential oils. The process involves your colon being flushed out with liquid over a handful of cycles, with gentle but effective water pressure rinsing out the build-up inside you. We opted for the standard treatment with alkalised water, but the clinic also offered coffee and probiotic colonics. The friendly registered practitioner will talk you through each step along the way, asking you to roll to one side as a nozzle is fixed into your, erm, back door. The practitioner will then guide you and listen out for discomfort through the whole process, also providing a gentle stomach massage to ease things along. It might be the only time in your life that someone earnestly tells you “Well done!” for passing wind.
If you’re feeling curious, you can peek over to watch the pipe framed in a clear window of the extraction device as all manner of 'stuff' pass through. When the treatment is done, a toilet with a squatty potty is just off your treatment room so you can relieve yourself of anything else still lingering in there. The pain and discomfort level is mild, similar to some period cramps, or the feeling of suddenly really needing to poop. Afterwards, you’ll be feeling lighter than ever (and you might not go number two again for about three days, which we're told is normal).
Cost: $150-$170 per session. It is recommended to do at least three sessions. Some people go monthly.