You’re over the rain. We’re over the rain. All of us, everywhere, are over the rain. And yet, it looks like we’re in for at least a few months more of this endless Big Wet. Oh joy. But the relentless downpours aren’t just raining us off the beaches and flooding large swathes of the state. They are also having some strange and sometimes unsettling influences on local wildlife, so apologies in advance for this impending doom scroll.
Firstly, and most terrifyingly, sightings of funnel web spiders, the world’s most deadly critter, are on the rise throughout the Greater Sydney region, including on the Central Coast, in the Blue Mountains and in Newcastle. The usually reclusive but highly venomous eight-legged menaces are retreating into people’s homes to escape the waters that can flood or damage their distinctive webs and burrows. And while they will not seek out an attack, they are prone to aggression if they feel threatened, say by a human screaming and attempting to squish them with a shoe.
Because of the increase in reported sightings, authorities are urging the public to get clued-up about what to do should they receive a bite. If you find yourself on the wrong end of this arachnid’s substantial fangs, clean the bite area thoroughly, immobilise the bitten extremity with an elastic bandage and seek immediate emergency treatment. Above all else, don’t panic – while serious, funnel web bites are easily treatable and there hasn’t been a confirmed fatality in Australia since funnel web antivenom was first created in 1980. More details on what to do if you get bit here.
But it’s not all doom and gloom, at least not if you’re a bin chicken. The humble ibis has been having a great time, reaping the benefits of Sydney’s waterlogged parks. With large areas of the city’s green spaces so saturated they’ve become boggy wetlands, earthworms and other burrowing insects are wriggling to the surface and into the waiting beaks of hungry bin chickens, who are far better adapted to foraging for insects in the mud than pulling Maccas chippies out of dumpsters. But a wormy feast is not the only thing these birds are getting up to in Sydney’s parks at present. According to ornithologist Dr Gráinne Cleary, speaking to the Guardian, due to the large congregations of Ibises, levels of mating are on the rise too. As the good doctor put it: “There’s a lot of food and there’s a lot of shagging going on as well". That’s right, there are bin chicken orgies happening in Sydney’s parks. So, you can expect to see quite a few more of the scaly trash raiders come next spring. RIP your sandwich in the park.