So many things about Valentinas Sydney are surprising. Like its location, on a suburban stretch of Livingstone Road connecting the high streets of Petersham and Marrickville. You do not expect to find such a perfectly realised vision of mythological American dining in amongst the Federation homes and wide concrete driveways. It’s also surprising that so many people want to get their hands on the crumbly, short, cathead biscuits with a heart-attack’s worth of whipped maple butter and blueberry jam that even at 11am on a weekday there’s not a spare chair to be had and people milling on the footpath. Thanks to the great work-from-home revolution, the banquettes and counter seats are filled with an accurate cross-section of the Inner West’s professional league of creators, producers, facilitators, administrators and carers at all times.
And what is fuelling this hive of industry? On one table it’s a bronzed hunk of fried chicken sandwiched between a golden biscuit, at sea in a wash of gravy with home fries on the side. On our other side it’s the crunchy and near see-through house-made potato crisps that are given pride of place next to a breakfast sandwich packed with a juicy, rustic sausage patty, melted cheese and a fried egg served on an English muffin.
There’s nothing on the menu here that Elvis himself wouldn’t consider a rounded start to the day, which is also to say that there is nothing here for Buddha bowl enthusiasts. The closest you’ll get to green is the wedge of seasoned iceberg lettuce with tomato, onion, and radish dressed with blue cheese sauce and bacon. Slices of rare roast beef dipped in jus are served on a potato bun. It looks innocent, but this sanga is packing a calorific payload in the form of proper American-style liquid cheese, pickles, diced Spanish onion and horseradish cream underneath that soft bread dome. So much mess. So much flavour. So little motivation to do anything after eating it, besides find a way to justify a slice of blueberry pie with streusel topping or a gently spiced snickerdoodle cookie for the road. Need your wits about you? The hot fish finger sandwich recruits white cabbage and the sharpness of pico de gallo to leave your feeling light, bright, and perky. Or maybe that’s just the third cup of the bottomless Artificer filter coffee for $8.
Everything coming out of the kitchen at Valentinas feels like it was designed to satiate that very particular longing for America that comes from a childhood fed by direct-from-the-USA pop culture, right down to the pink doughnuts with rainbow sprinkles in the glass cabinet. This makes perfect sense because the people behind Valentina’s are Elise Honeybrook and Scott Clark, who also own Grumpy Doughnuts, supplying those sweet circular treats to their new diner. Much like their foray into the pastry game, Valentinas was created because when they went searching for a slice of the America they experienced on holidays they were left wanting. So they’ve filled the gap for everyone whose road-tripping heart dreams of a diner stuck in time. From the golden glow emanating from the backlit mirrors to the textured concrete walls, the curved counter lined in timber battens, the monogrammed plates and namesake white coffee cups that make you feel like an extra on the set of Twin Peaks, everything is beautifully designed to evoke the past without caricaturing it.