“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw,” Heathers: the Musical is coming to Darling Harbour. And before you start writing letters to the editor, that brilliantly graphic line is lifted directly from the cult classic 1989 movie starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater as teen misfits attempting to right the wrongs of a trio of high school queen bees, all named Heather. Well, sort of. Nobody is exactly innocent in this messed-up flick. But what it lacks in clear-cut morals, it more than makes up for in a brutal barrage of killer quotes like, “what’s your damage?” So much so that folks of a certain generation are still deploying them without mercy today.
It’s certainly one of the darker films to make its way to the stage in musical format, arguably only out-creeped by American Psycho. And while the musical tones down some of the more shocking elements of the plot, it remains gleefully potty-mouthed – if you're scandalised by the aforementioned quote, it might be a touch too spicy for you. “Why, now, are you pulling on my dick?” also makes the cut, just FYI.
Playing at the ARA Darling Quarter Theatre from February 8 to March 5 (after a planned August run was sideswiped by Covid) this new staging has been brought to Sydney by wunderkind 19-year-old producer Mitchell Old. The cast includes big hitters Michele Lansdown (Drowsy Chaperone) and Jake Tyler (Marriage of Figaro) alongside emerging talent like Tiegan Denina in the lead role of Veronica, made infamous by Ryder, Jerrod Smith in the Slater role of JD, and Sabrina Kirkham as queen biotch Heather Chandler.
With a book, music and lyrics by Kevin Murphy and Laurence O’Keefe, based on the film written by Daniel Waters, the production taps Harrison Alexander as music director and Rheanna Hindmarch on choreography. Old handles the direction himself, and you can bet this outré show is gonna shake Sydney to its core. Surrender to the madness, because “Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling,” and you’d be extinct to miss it.
