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Nails Must be Kept Short: The Warm Up

  • Theatre, Musicals
Nails Must Be Kept Short-Fruit Box Theatre
Photograph: Supplied/Fruit Box Theatre
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Time Out says

This new Australian musical about queer netballers is a poignant coming-of-age story about accepting yourself

A musical about netballers is the kind of thing that has the potential to garner a cult following of queers. It’s only a bonus that this one is all about a netball team from the Inner West (the gayest region in Sydney) being “promoted” to an elite squad from Northern Sydney (not the straightest… but up there) and the unexpected sparks that fly between the high-ponytailed-and-perfectly-manicured Wing Attack and the bike-shorts-wearing-septum-piercing-having new Goal Shooter.

Presented as part of Fruit Box Theatre’s jam-packed In Season lineup forSydney WorldPride, Nails Must be Kept Short: The Warm Up is a taster of the music and story of a new Australian musical by Sophie Davis and Laura McDonald, with music by Harry Collins. This showcase featured 12 songs, a singular drum, a keyboard played by the fantastic Zara Stanton, and a cast of eight performers giving the absolute most from behind their music stands.

Developed in partnership with SOGICE (survivors of Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Change Efforts and the LGBTQA+ Conversion movement), the musical uses the very much heteronormative cult of netball as a satirical allegory for religious and conservative movements that encourage “normality” and discourage queerness. Centre court queen Maddison (Katelin Koprivec) and her coach, Magda (Sinead Cristaudo) wear nothing but their team colours (red and white, of course) and sing about keeping far away from the other girls on the team in ‘No Contact’. Cristaudo is hilarious as Magda, screeching into the microphone and hissing on her “s” sounds when she repeats “STOP!” 

Bec (Wing Attack, as played by Cypriana Singh) is Maddison’s best friend. As she finds out more about her attraction to her team-mate, she realises that perhaps Maddison doesn’t have her best interests at heart. The writing is oh-so-relatable, with songs like ‘Here If You Need’ combining Singh and Koprivec’s soaring vocals with stories of growing out of friendships to heart-wrenching effect. 

Bec’s realisations about herself in ‘Hindsight’ (a gay awakening anthem with the Inner Westies) and ‘I Never Knew’ (a tear-jerker about struggling to accept yourself) are so poignant, even at this early stage. The chemistry between Bec and Crofty (Goal Shooter, played by Addy Robertson) is very steamy in ‘Shower Steam’, and Crofty’s heartbreak number ‘Girls Hurt Girls’ is such a great way to include feelings of rejection and the widespread consequences of telling our young queers to hide who they are.

If this taster is anything to go by, Sophie Davis, Laura McDonald, Harry Collins and the Nails Must be Kept Short team have a certified hit on their hands. Think Fangirls meets the Book of Mormon but with shorter skirts, higher ponytails and even gayer leading characters. 

You can follow the Nails Must Be Kept Short crew on Instagram @nailsthemusical to help them stage a full production sooner rather than later. When they do, you’ll catch me in the front row with my Asics on, sobbing and pivoting along.

Charlotte Smee
Written by
Charlotte Smee

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