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Nine out of ten of the fastest growing populations in the UK are in London

Eddy Frankel

Brave users of the tube, courageous commuters, we come bearing bad news: London's population is on the up...massively. The Office for National Statistics has just released population growth data, and nine of the ten fastest growing areas in the UK are in London. Tower Hamlets, at number one, is projected to grow by 25.1 percent by 2024. If you're struggling to visualise how much busier that is, the average rush hour train has seven people per square metre, so just imagine another two people in that space, basically. Or four armpits. The only non-London area set to see that kind of armpit growth is the industrial Midlands town of Corby, which is presumably attracting all these newcomers thanks to its beautiful beaches, lovely weather and thriving cultural scene. The North of England meanwhile is growing at a comparative snail's pace (just 3.1 percent in the North East) leading many to assume that all those Geordies are heading our way, pet. 

Of course, you can't blame all of this on the migration of people, nationally or internationally. Maybe the ONS knows something about the nation's bonking habits that leads it to think people in Tower Hamlets are getting SERIOUSLY busy. That's how we're looking at this, Tower Hamlets is the procreation capital of England. Good for you Tower Hamlets, you go make your love, just keep the blinds down, the ONS is probably watching. 

Image: Umbreen Hafeez

In other news, Liverpool is the funniest city in the UK (and London isn't even in the top three!)

And here are 11 things we learned about London from a 116 year-old guidebook

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