Christmas is mere weeks away and we don’t want to hear the word ‘calories’ ever again. We have zero things to say about putting on pounds, festive weight gain or how many times you need to sprint around your parents’ garden to work off a vat of roast potatoes and two family-sized tins of Quality Street. We do, however, have a lot to say about the joyful and hilarious festive fitness classes popping up all over the capital. Eat, drink, be merry and then, if you fancy it, take a boxing class with Father Christmas. ’Tis the season, after all.
The Nutcracker Barre
Virgin Active are jazzing up their standard barre classes this December, and we are 100% on board. If you can't flounce your heart out to the music of The Nutcracker, Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty at Christmas when can you? Virgin Active Strand. Dec 13 and 20. Members only. Book here.
Nutcracker Barre Workshop
Spotting a theme here? You can channel your inner prima ballerina and learn moves from the traditional festive ballet at Frame too. Frame. Various dates and times. Various studios. £25. Book here.
Heading off to the slopes this Christmas, or just wish you were? Get your lower body mountain-ready with a wintery pilates sesh at Christmas by the River. The intense class is catered to work on those essential but rarely used skiing muscles. Christmas by the River. Dec 13. Book here.
Spin and sweat at one of Boom Cycle’s classic classes. The only difference is your 45-minute cycle will be soundtracked by cheesy Christmas tune after cheesy Christmas tune. Boom Cycle. Dec 18, Holborn. Dec 22, Hammersmith. £18. Book here.
Yoga on Ice
Head down to Winterville and chill the hell out at this slippery-sounding yoga on ice class. Goodie bags will be dished out and all mats are provided. You can warm up with armfuls of street food afterwards. Winterville. Dec 10. £27. Book here.
Baby, it’s cold outside, but it’s bloody steamy at Another_Space. Sign up for a Christmas twist on a cycle class with a mix of intervals and full-body strength and tone exercises set to seasonal tunes. Another_Space. Dec 12. £20. Book here.
Sounds like the kind of thing that will put you straight on the naughty list, right? This fast and furious workout will put you through a mix of strength exercises with high-energy punchbag work. With actual Santa. Or, you know, one of his helpers. Another_Space. Various dates and times. £20. Book here.
Seen on Screen: Christmas Diva
This is the only gift you’ll need this season: permission to spend an hour of your life pretending to be a backing dancer. Seen on Screen run dance workshops, teaching you how to boogie like a pop star and this December they are turning their attention to Christmas chart-toppers. Dance along to Kylie’s ‘Santa Baby’ (December 9), Mariah’s ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ (December 16) or Destiny’s Child classic ‘8 Days of Christmas’ (December 17). Central YMCA Club. £15. Book here.
Christmas Music Video
Let out your inner star and get stuck into routines from all your favourite Christmas tunes. You’ll (probably) be the life and soul of your office Christmas bash afterwards. Frame. Shoreditch and King’s Cross. Various dates and times throughout the month. £13. Book here.
Feeling fit? Warm up with our guide to hot exercise classes in the capital this winter.
Here's our pick of the best free fitness classes in London.