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You might have noticed an influx of large spider webs in gardens, bushes and sheds across London. Usually, a chubby-bodied, fuck-off arachnid will be chilling in the middle. But what’s the deal with all these eight-legged friends at the moment?
Unfortunately, Time Out doesn’t have an in-house arachnologist, so we turned to some spider experts to find out exactly what’s going on. In a nutshell: it’s officially spider season.
What kind of spiders are there in London?
The ones we’re seeing outside are most likely common garden spiders: Araneus diadematus, if you want to get fancy. They hang out wherever there’s a good structure to build their large, spiralling ‘orb webs’. They can grow up to the size of a thumbnail and nearly always have a white cross on their back.
Why are there spider webs everywhere right now?
‘The reason we get really big webs at this time of year is because the females get large because they’ve mated and are full of eggs,’ says Dr Geoff Oxford of the British Arachnological Society. ‘They were still around when they were smaller, but they just weren’t noticed as much.’
What about in the house?
Then there’s the inside ones. Those black lurkers that sit in your bathtub and tickle your face while you sleep, preying on your sanity. Again, there’s no more of them around than normal: they’re just more visible. And more spermy.
Dave Clarke is head of invertebrates at London Zoo. According to him, we’re about to see more house spiders around because they’ve started to reach maximum size and the males are all out on the pull. ‘While searching for a mate they are so active you are bound to see one or two running across the carpet,’ he says.
After a month or so, they will have copped off and then the males die, with spider mating season usually rounding up in October.
Are there poisonous spiders in London?
No. It’s worth remembering that no matter how creepy these crawly guys look, scientifically they’ll cause you no harm: they’re just horny fuckers. They’re here to guzzle up flies and have a good time, like me on a night out.
Here’s London’s best (non-spider-based) nightlife this weekend.
Hang on, though. There are also loads of rats in Camberwell Green.