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Everyone knows that the real face of Christmas isn’t the big guy with the red-and-white suit, aka yer man Father Christmas. It’s Mariah Carey, obviously. And in some nice festive news to distract us from all The Doom, the ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ singer is now doing announcements on the London Underground network. Yes, really.
If you’ve been travelling on the tube and heard someone that sounds a bit like Mariah Carey telling you to ‘stand behind the yellow line’, well, it is in fact Mariah Carey.
The announcement starts like this: ‘Hi darlings, it’s Mariah. Make my wish come true and please stand behind the yellow line at all times, proceed with caution...’ A massive global pop star wants us to stay safe on the tube – that’s nice, isn’t it?
Still, an iconic musician doing the tube announcements might seem like a rogue move until you hear the second half of the announcement and realise that you’ve got good old capitalism to thank: ‘... and don’t forget to ask Alexa to play “All I Want for Christmas Is You” on Amazon Music.’
If anyone can get Mariah Carey to do tube announcements it’s Jeff Bezos, eh?
Look, clearly this is basically just a plug for us to all buy an Alexa as well as a way for TfL to earn some much-needed cash, but tbh, at this point… we’ll take it.
Good news: The London Transport Museum’s new PJs look very fly indeed.