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Mr Gorilla’s guide to surviving the London Marathon

By Things To Do Editors

Take advice from the eager ape who crawled the entire marathon route for charity in 2017

Find loopholes

Stick to the rules, but look for the gaps. Be inventive. Roller-skating is not allowed. Crawling, somewhat surprisingly, is allowed, or at least it was last year.’

Start slow

Take your time. Why not turn up at 11.30am and be the last to start? The route will be beautifully clear and you won’t have to elbow your way along the first 16 miles.’

 ... Then go even slower

Why not walk the whole way? A brisk walk should see you finish in around 6.5 hours and, like the tortoise and the hare, you can enjoy overtaking those who set out too quickly and are limping along the last ten miles.’

Stay alert

Watch out for speed bumps in the first half of the course. They are evil.’

Open up

Feel free to cry at the end, especially if it’s your first marathon.’

Give in to it

Swear you will never do another. Then find out when the ballot for the next year opens.’

Support Mr Gorilla’s charity cycle from Lands End to John O’Groats here

Want more marathon tips? Try our runner’s guide


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